Ricky Gervais isn’t hosting the Oscars, but after reading this, there’s a case to be made on his behalf.
If you enjoyed his Golden Globes blast-fest, you’ll absolutely love this.
James Franco and Anne Hathaway are taking lead for Sunday’s ceremony, and have promised that theirs won’t be an insult fest like Gervais’s Globes performance. But if they decide to change their minds, Gervais has written an opening script that hits out at Hollywood entitlement — and criticism he’s taken since the show.
Here’s a sampling:
JF You probably know me from “127 Hours” where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds “way out” but wait till half way through this f**king ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.AH
And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.
Of course, he doesn’t just hit out at the hosts and the proposition of a safe telecast. He does that while hitting out at the actors themselves.
He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.
And it only gets spicier from there. To read it all, click over to Gervais’s blog.
Expect a clash of classics and… rump shaking in Sunday’s Oscar telecast.
Anne Hathaway, joined by James Franco as very untraditional Oscars co-hosts, is working to quiet the doubts about her comedic chops and get viewers excited about a new generation of hosts. And if she can go from classic opera to hip hop like this on the real telecast, well, the Academy may have made a very inspired choice.
The star, continuing her series of re-imagined film classics, quickly makes the switch from the iconic “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” from Evita to Wreckx-N-Effect‘s “Rump Shaker” in this promo. It’s hard to tell whether she’s more dictator’s wife or hip hop impresario — why don’t you watch and decide?
The 28-year-old actress is training for the physical demands of her lead role as Catwoman (and its sleek, physique-revealing catsuit) in The Dark Knight Rises as she flexes her comedy muscles alongside James Franco as co-hosts of Sunday’s Academy Awards.
“There’s a lot going on, but it’s all really super-duper positive,” Hathaway said between fittings.
“I feel like I have a big fight coming up and everyone’s giving me the thumbs-up and the ‘you’ll-rock-it’ fist pump. I have unbelievable support.”
The Oscar team is helping Hathaway and Franco find their funniest material, she said, and the producers “are making it as easy as possible on me.”
“It’s all been kind of wonderful and jovial,” she said. “It turns out it takes a village to host the Oscars.”
Hathaway’s biggest challenge this week? Navigating Los Angeles‘ famous freeways and making it to all her appointments on time. But the New York City resident has that one covered: “Luckily my assistant is a really good driver.”